Two months and a half since I am in Brazil and I never went out from Fortaleza. It was about time. I visited a charming village neraby - Cambuco. With the most charming company :)

Лука, 2:10-11
10 Но ангелът им рече: Не бойте се, защото, ето, благовестявам ви голяма радост, която ще бъде за всичките люде. 
11 Защото днес ви се роди в Давидовия град Спасител, Който е Христос Господ. 

Luke 2:10-11
10 And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. 
11 For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. 

Lucas 2, 10-11
10 O anjo, porém, lhes disse: Não temais, porquanto vos trago novas de grande alegria que o será para todo o povo:11 É que vos nasceu hoje, na cidade de Davi, o Salvador, que é Cristo, o Senhor.  

You think malls only make us greedy or take the business away from the small enterprises, really mark up the articles and even worse, accustom people to bad values like eating fat pop corn with Coke while watching a movie or buying expensive brands, because they are advertised to be cool.

Most probably you are right. 

This is not enough to stop me to write  a tribute to malls :)

Recently I am travelling thru extremely moist or dry and mostly hot places. After hours of exploring the streets, the people, the smells and the sounds, you would need a break and if you are out of Europe it is likely not to find ala Starbucks air-conditioned coffee bar around. When I happen to be in a comparatively big city, I would squeeze immediately into the first mall I see. It could be the only public indoor venue you can enter and stay unnoticed as long as you want. Here are my 5 reasons to like malls:

1. It has air-conditioning! If it is 40 degree outside, no shadow and no places to rest, the mall is undoubtedly your saver.
2. It has a bathroom that you can use without paying for it and it is in better condition than those outside if there are any at all. Sometimes I get really tired to ask restaurants for using their bathroom and sometimes, believe it or not, I have no cash for using the public ones.
3. There are always wi-fi spots in the mall. Sometimes it is free, sometimes you have to pay for the service, whatever the case, it is a blessing, because, remember, no Starbucks around.
4. The supermarket downstairs. Some cold water, cheap can of a beer and  the cheapest way to have some lunch, buying a tomato with a slice of cheese, for instance.
5. A quick dose of a back-to-civilization feeling. Ok, you are a super-keen tribe explorer and can survive in any harsh conditions, without missing any western stereotype. Respect. Just give me 5 more minutes to have an escalator ride once again up to the 4th floor and I will go straight back to the 12th century, where my home is waiting me beyond several sand dunes. Or back to the whatever nature element I am taming now.

The other night I had a dream in which I picked up a four-leaved clover. The forth leaf was in such a strange place that when I woke up I immediately drew it down with the instant comment  that showed up in my head. What I wrote myself was so much addressed to me but I only understood it today when I received the official cancellation of my application for a EU project. 

A couple of months ago I applied for a EU funding, which was supposed to subsidize an expensive one-month language course in Lisbon, along with the accommodation and flight ticket in February 2012. That was basically the reason I came in Brazil  "waiting" in a portuguese-speaking country for the big moment in February. The letter is not even one of disapproval, it is to inform me why my application is cancelled. My bad by oversight.

I cannot say that I am overcome with happiness, but surprisingly enough, I am not upset as well. I am pretty secure Portugal will happen to me, obviously not in the way I planned. Sometimes the luck is just not where you expect to be...

At least now I don't have a deadline to leave Brazil. And I am curious and awake how, when and what will lead me to Portugal.

Working for an incredible social project in Fortaleza can be challenging but experimental and rewarding as well. I am having a weekly class with two groups, consisted of people aged between 15 and 55 in a Mental Hospital being there for an alcohol and drug treatment. The English program in the hospital doesn't  have only educational objectives. It is much important for increasing their self-confidence in intellectual tasks as well as giving them the sense of improving in something.

I decided to start the class last Friday with the powerful vibration of good words. They should have thought about the most beautiful and significant word in Portuguese for them, which after that we will learn in English. They willingly start taking turns, curious to the English translation of the most important thing in their life. I decided to publish the list, not because it is an exceptional one. On the contrary, I really believe that the words in it will be more or less the same everywhere. You can make the experiment somewhere else, I will be the first interested person to see it :)

I am still struggling to find a good camera for a city photo session and escort for make it safe (unfortunately, here is not that safe to wander with expensive device). In the meantime, some shots from my home in Fortaleza, Brazil.

 След известно време прекарано по училища в Тайланд и Бразилия...

Като изключим наистина срамежливите тайландски ученици, физическият допир в Тайланд ще трябва да е забранен с декрет от краля, защото той на практика не съществува, уви, не само публично, но и в непринудена семейна обстановка. Родителите не се прегръщат един друг, а ако прегърнат децата си е някак мимолетно. Поздравът не включва дори здрависване и на практика можеш да си останеш във физически изолаторски балон в продължение на месеци. Още след първия месец тялото ми започна да линее от липса на докосване. Прегръдка, ръкостискане, погалване по рамото, каквото и да е, нещо, което е било винаги несъзнателна тактилна част от ежедневието ми изчезна и накара тялото ми да се почувства във вакуум. Как можеш да бъдеш щастлив без да прегръщаш и да бъдеш прегърнат. Можеш. Тайландците не са нещастни хора. Чувала съм, че финландците страдат от малко повече депресия поради липса на слънце, но не и поради липса на прегръдки. Странен е тоя свят, казах си и продължих на запад.

Бразилия. Запознанство, поздрав, сбогуване, винаги е съпроводено със здрависване, притискане и целувка. Тялото ти е подложено на десетки миризми и кожи всекидневно. Не това е толкова учудващо, колкото поведението на учениците, които след часа, за да изразят симпатията си към теб ще дойдат и ще те целунат. Устните ти докосват чуждите бузи и изпращат сигнали до мозъка – набола брада, гладка кожа, това е приятно, онова не е, този тук можеш да изядеш, онзи – не. Странен е тоя свят, казах си и продължих да се целувам.

Културните различия са нещо интересно, нещо което заслужава изследвания, задава въпроси със защо и има стотици психологически, географски, религиозни и исторически предпоставки за отговорите на тези въпроси. Съвременни философски, културологични и социологични проучвания превръщат разликите в жанр. Пътувайки от изток на запад, нагоре и надолу по меридианите, едно друго явление обаче ми стана по-интересно и то се нарича подобие.

Ето един прост факт за целувката - без значение от културните различия, целувката устни в устни, винаги, навсякъде и всякога означава едно и също – интимност. Ако видите любимия си човек да целува някого по бузата, това ще е приемливо. Ако го засечете да впива устни в нечии други, това някак може и да ви притесни. Целувката винаги предизвиква една и съща реакция на мозъка – на удоволствие или на отблъскване, това няма значение, защото е конкретика. Общото е, че целувката устни в устни винаги е онова, което е – две мозъчни полукълба на практика полудяват от информация.

Рецепторите, концентрирани върху устните, сравнени с други органи и места на човешкото тяло, са значително по-многобройни. Гърба ти няма да усети с такава интензивност повърхността на тялото, което го докосва. Устните са тези, които трябва да предоставят информация на мозъка дали нещо трябва да бъде вкарано в устата или не. Следователно гамата на чувствителност е в пъти по-силна от тази на повечето части на тялото ни. Устните са нещо като клетъчната мембрана, която дава зелен или червен сигнал на идващото отвън. Докосването на два чифта устни, всъщност кара два чифта мозъци да прелеят от сензитивна информация, която не само може да даде карт бланш на инстинкта за възпроизвеждане, но и напълно да претовари логическата обработка на способността ти за съждение до степен на пълен блокаж. Говори се, че алкохолът ни кара да правим глупости. Нищо подобно. Алкохолът само сваля гарда на позволението чужди устни да допрат твоите. Оттам нататък, единствено тактилното усещане е онова, което прецаква всяка последваща смислена и рационална постъпка. Това, разбира се, не е научна статия. Никой не научи нищо ново, но вероятно се усмихвате поне от два параграфа насам.

:)

Before posting any other information or pictures of my home and life in Fortaleza, I would like to thank Leo, Fabio, Yvanna and Maíra for hosting me the first three weeks on my arrival in Brasil, when I came without nothing - neither a place to stay, nor a friend to rely on, nor a job to do, or any idea how will make things work out. Thanks to you, guys, I made it. And I still am. 

I wish to meet you as strong as I am, sure-footed yourself, happy yourself, laid-back and vainless. I wish to invite you in my nationless land, where the map is drawn up with a pale pencil for changing the borders easily, to name the places in our manner in our secret alphabet. The other day a friend told me that he can precisely draw the picture of his perfect beloved. I don't believe in the exclusive charm of the physical shapes. I believe in the shape of your heart and in your stalwart will to play it fair. My taste is chameleon.

I know I am riding fast. But I know that during the quietness of my sleep at night I am fragile as a child. And I would love to be wrapped in your legs, when your deep breath and resting heartbeat lull me peacefully. When your spirit knows that he can go on without me but wants me for the pure sake of love out of any necessity.

I know I am brave. But I know that I am not fearless and a single dog bark can lift my heart up in my throat. I don't want you to play it courageous racing with me. Be courageus on your own account. It is not a win game. It is a game of the pleasure to share without feeling yourself someone's other half. I don't want to match you. I want to feel the savage happiness of putting a ball into a square hole without anyone's sanction.

I know I am inconstant. But the path of my life is not mapped out and we have to accept it that decisions driven either rationally or emotionally are the most interesting part of life, which give us nothing for granted. Just don't be afraid to choose or to be chosen. Most
probably I will drop out of love someday. Before or after you. Nothing in me and you is timeless. Coincidences happen there, where a timeline exists. Let me love you now, where now is at the moment of speaking.

"Don't stay too long in the shadow of observation. To be an observer is the illness of the wisdom one should overcome. This world is to interact with." says a fellow from Jordan the only night we met and shared a precious bottle of wine and one of the most profound conversations in my life in the desert.

I knew he was right but keeping myself aside was a pleasant and requisitive feeling in my life. My East trip was all about silence, lack of social life and observation. But I was a total outsider back home as well.

Brazil makes me blossoming out. I start feeling in love again. In love with the people and places, with the passion in between, with the surprises behind the corner, with the strangers in the night, with the sand stuck in my curves, with the sparkish impulse of dancing and singing, with the beating pulse of other hearts. I creeped out of my shell and all fibres of myself is anticipating the miracles of this life on earth to mark me, to lead me, to love me.

Enough of keeping my heart away, enough of being temperedly prudent, enough of the permenant partiality for being reclusive, enough watching the life from the observatory of my subconscious fear of being rejected. If you want to see someone, just grab the plane, boat or bike and see what will happen. The globe is like a football – you can play with it and there will be always someone to play with you.