Two months far away from everything I know. But not far away from God, neither from myself. Speak a little, observe a lot. Missing anything and anyone. What I need is coming to me one way or another. Still, the existential loneliness of mine out-stands as something that should be overcome.

I decided to go back to Wadi Rum and spend the 50-day Easter fast in a Bedouin camp in the desert, where nobody lives. Without electricity, i-net or mobile connection.

Living in a close conservative community in Rum, cleaning rooms, cooking in the kitchen, washing the dishes, working in the reception in order to deserve my food and bed in Petra took a little bit of my daily freedom but led me to interact with people who enriched my life in inexplicable way. No words can express the state of freedom of my travelling body and calm mind. An internal security produced by the faith in God and trust in my soul's knowledge who are leading me. Whatever I should encounter, whatever i should pass through, whomever i should meet and however I should go on - let it be.

Sometimes some people go far away from each other in order to meet again in a different way. 
Sometimes you leave some place to come back to it in another way.

God knows why.

Now, living in Petra, I know that i will go back to Wadi Rum desert, but this time not in my host family, nor to be close to the friends I made there. But to keep the Easter fast and to be secluded in the desert for 50 days. Enshallah.

Forty days passed since I entered this flat Godlike world and dived into the aching loneliness of the desert and exceeding noisiness in the Bedu village. I started making friendships and besides the language barrier strong relationship with the members of my host family. I learned how much you can love someone you cannot speak with. Communication is beyond talks. Attachment is beyond words.

I was trying to cope with things I am totally unfitted by nature. Warm‐hearted and talkative at first sight, I stood aloof from the social whirl in my homeland and barely could stand someone around me for a long time. I was living alone, enjoying being by myself, insisting on my spiritual independence and physical personal space, preventing anyone from coming too close.

And here I am now - among huge family, without room for me in it, sleeping in the communal tent around the fire, no place for getting out any of my personal stuff (still in the backpack since I am here), nor staying alone doing something privately. Nevertheless, I get used to everything - physically and emotionally. My heart is captivated by the reddish sands, the beauty of the sand dunes and face‐liked canyons, by the pure‐minded and open‐hearted family, by my little brother, whose voice, bravery, calmness, wisdom and deep understanding look I will take forever with me.

There is time when the wind starts blowing in a different direction. Despite some complicated matters I am not forced to move. I just feel it right.