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Fortune is difficult to find....

14/5/2011

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I believed that I would be ceaslessly self-independent, confident, full of faith and somehow self-sufficient in this journey. That I can ignore any national, cultural or spatial boundaries. That I could find happiness whatever the God's will would be. Bullshit. A shameless bullshit. I am feeling lonely, isolated and in the middle of nowhere. I guess there is nothing bizarre in this 5th-month traveling condition. I miss real social life. I miss company. I miss sincere and deep conversation with a friend, I miss unserious beer-accompanied chatting during which I am getting drunk, I miss wholehearted laughing, I miss having money and affording things, I miss walking around something alike European city, I miss bars, I miss night life, I miss parks, I miss jogging, I miss dancing, I miss my own space, I miss everything.

I don’t pity myself. I know it is a phase and it will pass but I insist on sticking this note in my journal since it reveals the true, no matter ugly or nice, perspective of what I am going through. I don't know if it is a big deal or not to travel around alone with no money, no friends and no idea what is happening but I am the fool in this deal. My first destiny note from my first temple visit today, didn't make things funnier at all...

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2 Comments
murat
14/5/2011 03:34:55 am

I am so happy that you are writing in English again! :) You write in a way that makes the reader feel being part of your journey.
I wish you all the best for your journey (and destiny notes..)

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author
14/5/2011 10:22:18 pm

And I am so glad there are readers willing to travel with me :)

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    A world is a book, which I am writing travelling and discovering that anything goes in a path full of miracles. Beast or an angel - it is up to you. My greatest life affair is just to keep on walking with respect.

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